CONTACT US (OR NOT)

But… Why?

I’m not sure WHY you would want to contact me, weirdo, but I guess I’ll give you some simple instructions. First, you need to dress up in an inflatable dinosaur costume, get up on top of your roof, and scream “MASSIVE” 160,000 times in a row. Then my good friend John the alien will come abduct you of course, as you do, and then… Oops, did I say this would BRING you to me? Haha, nope, this just gets you abducted. Sorry, I just don’t care enough to hear what you have to say! 😁 

But here, you can read this nonsensical and quite frankly tacky contact page, right underneath here if you for some reason, couldn’t already find it. I hope you like the top 50 best burgers 2020.

Here...

h̷̼̻̿e̸̲̲̅͠r̷͍̳̈e̴̹͍͗ ̸̥̂h̵̟̱͌ĕ̸̮͈r̴͇͗ė̷̪͝ ̷̻̙͂h̷̟͈̒e̶̠̜͆̎r̵̹̍̊ͅe̵͎̅ ̴͈̀͘h̶͙̘͆ě̵̜͘ŗ̸̰̎̋e̸̢̙͊ ̵̖̕ḧ̷͎͙́e̵͔͊̃r̶̫̾ë̴͈̜̂ ̸͎̽͂͜h̷̰͙͆e̴̮͘r̵̰͝ė̶̥͜ ̷̦̏͠h̵̳͇̒̃ě̴͉͚͂r̵̄̂͜ȇ̴̠͘ ̷̜̹͝ḧ̴̼́ȅ̴͕̽r̷̞̒ë̶̛͔ ̷̰̐͌h̸̺̟̃e̵͖͑͂ṙ̷̻e̴̺̬͆ ̸͍̹͝h̶͓̩͋e̸͖͂r̴̭̰̓̈́e̴̘͑ͅ ̵͍̓̈́h̸̠̠̀̇e̸͓̅͜r̸͇͋̓ẻ̵̤͛ ̴͖̄̌h̷̭͐e̴̯̪͑͠r̵̢͒͑e̸̘̣̽̌ ̵̱̝̄͛h̵͎͐̉e̵͕̊͛r̵͔̘̆ḛ̴̣͊ ̸̝̒h̷̡̐ė̸̟͠r̴̭̚͝ë̷̥͊ ̶̬͔̆ḧ̶͓́e̸̱͑̌r̷̖̖͑é̷̙͎ ̷̯̈̌h̴̯͒e̴͑͜r̸̰̍e̴͚̘̍͠ ̶̨̀͜ḧ̸͇͎́ê̴͇͝ͅṙ̷̟e̸͉̊̌ ̷͍̠͠h̵̡͗̓͜e̶̮̐͐r̸͈̽͒é̸͍̥ ̴̧̜̒h̶̡͚͊ē̶̤̿ṙ̴͓è̴̟̼ ̶̩̻̌h̴̘̥̓̑ę̷̜̾̈́r̷̥̰͠e̵̞̅͘ ̶͔̩̂̈h̵̢̃̂e̵̡̘͗r̵̛̤͉̂é̶̤̐ ̵̤̰̄̒h̵͇͚̾e̵̘͋̓r̸̳̀e̵̛͉͔ ̸̼͙̀̋h̴̪͕͑͠ė̶̠r̷͇̊è̴̮̞ ̸͔͗̈́h̴̜̱͊̚e̸̛̞͔͛ŗ̴̖̉ȇ̵̱̝̇ ̸̼͕͑h̷̤͋̓e̷̳̖̔ř̶͉͖̈́e̴̜̒ ̴̢͖́̂h̸̲̽e̵͕͆̕ͅr̸͈̋̋ē̷̝̚ ̷̩̝̔̂ẖ̷̓e̶̟̅̽r̸͙̂ě̷̢̧ ̷̪̬̅͊h̵̦͠e̷͇̍̀ṙ̵̺͈̀ë̴͙̠ ̵̜͘h̶̩̒̚e̶̡̺͊̃r̵̼̄e̷̬͋͐ ̸̼̭̋͆h̸̝̮͠e̷͔͐r̴̖͑e̷̻̟̐ ̸͖͍͗̉h̵̭̚é̶̻̲̽r̴̭̙̔͗ȩ̶̬͊̀ ̷̥̇́h̷̭͐̂ȩ̴̩͊͆ȑ̴͉̫͂ȩ̸͍̔ ̶̡͚̾̄ḧ̸̠͕ê̷̻̯͝r̸̞̙͛͘ȩ̶̧̓ ̸̬̜̔h̴̦̣͐e̸̺̐̂r̸̳̥̀ẹ̵̅ ̴͖̪̑̈́h̴͚̦͒è̷̤̣͠r̷̫͝e̴̘͉̒́ ̶̱̓́h̷̝̣̓͘e̷͔̠̍r̴̺̂̓ẹ̴̏ ̵̫̘͋̇h̸̢̠̓͌ḛ̵͉͑r̶̭̯͝ě̷̟ ̸͙̑͜h̶̬̀ē̶̯̹͊r̶̖̀͘ĕ̶̬͖͌ ̸̗̗͋̐h̷͑͊͜é̶̡ͅr̴̡͓͊̚ę̷̹̈́̚ ̸̢͕̀ḧ̴͕e̷̻͙͗̓r̸̛̜̓ę̴͚̐ ̴̺̗̽h̵̪͂̾e̸͚͗̈́ŗ̷̮̄e̷̳͆ ̷͍̣̾̿h̸̺̳̽͂ȅ̸̳ͅr̵̻͒e̶̲̒͛

(Don’t actually go here btw)

HQ

Area 51

Nevada, USA

Phone

Mind your own business about my digits, thank you very much.